The Weisstalgia Critic
by The Otaku Critic
Summary: Our Dear-not-so-great-Leader and all-so lovable heiress reacts to EVERYTHING and gives her opinion on them! Contains major AWESOME BALLNESS!
1. Chapter 1: Startup! Weiss React Vol1!

**A/N: Hello, I'm the Otaku Critic. I embrace it so you don't have to. This is a fanfic inspired by ElfCollaborator's "Weiss Reacts", which is infinitely better than this stuff. This Fic also features Weiss reacting to fanfic, but with critical opinion and analyzing mixed with shiteload of sarcasm and annoyance added. Taking all request from ANYTHING, not just RWBY. Yes, You heard it right. You will see OTHER series's fic and even non- fic in here. With that in mind, Lady, Gentleman and others, I'm the Critic, and this is Weisstalgia Critic. Let's JAM! Project! *Click* **

* * *

><p>A white-haired girl was dress in a black bolero shirt that was covering her usual white dress and a red tie worn loosely along with a black beret. In front of her was a wooden table, and behind her was a white wall.<p>

It was her show

Her very own show

After the intro finished, she smiled at the camera and said :

"Hello, I'm the Weisstalgia Critic. I shamefully remember them so you don't have to. This is a show where i review the fanfic while riffing it at the same time.I called it, a "Riffview"!". She said ecstatically "Don't worry, i only cover a couple of important chapters per fic if it have to many. Your porn will always be there... pervert."

" Today we're going to look at a fanfic called "Weiss Reacts", a fanfic that is scarily accurate of what happens in my regular life ,but with some differences. Like me being so OVERWHELMINGLY TSUNDERE we might need 10 Arkada saying:" suddenly, Arkada pops the fuck out of nowhere screaming "IT'S NOT LIKE SHE LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING, BAKA!".

"To be fair, it's THE best fanfic in the RWBY Archive. With over 100 chapters in the first volume and nearly a THOUSAND review, ALL of which are positive. YES. No yiffing, no flaming, no trolling, just praise and suggestions. WOW. Maybe one day it can surpassed "Those Lacking Spines" in... *Checks the fic*...Nope, still got a long way to go. The fanfic feature Blake building mecha and possibly battleships, Yang being a total perverted antic- obsessed Excellen Browning expy, Ruby being a klutz, and me being a heiress with anger problem..." Weiss's smile slowly turned into a frown "...which is all true, scarily enough..." she then started looking around, checking for stalkers."Okay, let's start!"

"A little note: I won't always include Authors Note, because sometimes you can REALLY get the author's attitude and personality through it, which sometimes you might not like."

"Chapter one: Weiss React to White Rose lemons!"

_ **"….what the hell is this?!" Weiss screeched at the screen. She had decided to take a look at this "DustFiction" site or some other; she'd seen it on someone's computer, and having seen her fellow teammates perusing the site, she'd decided to take a look at it**_ _**herself.** _

"Wow, first introduction into Dustnet and already screeching? Maybe I already tuned the rating to NOT include M-rates already"

_**"But this….The fanfiction she was currently reading was implying….things, between her and her team leader Ruby. By things, she meant intimate relations, and by intimate relations, she meant-"Ugh! W-Who writes this crap?! W-what is that I-I'm….." The heiress stared in disbelief at the screen as she scrolled down further, unable to completely process what was going on."**_

"Okay, first , I would've shut the computer off to protect my sanity BEFORE I continue watching. Secondly...yeah I did do what React!Me does and end up in a terrible Gundam x RWBY crossover which ended up with me falling in love with a Selfie ( Self-Insert ) ...come to think of it, I AM kind of a Masochist. but not to the point where i will turn Super ****** from being kicked by a person of the opposite sex or someone i ador-OOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooohhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH!" Weiss moaned in pleasure as parts of Ruby's prototype Revolver Stake's hit her head mid-flight." Sorry!" "Y-You dunce! Next time be more careful !"

_**"The story had started out tame enough, with her hooded team leader giving her longing glances- Weiss personally didn't 'swing' that way, by any stretch of the imagination, and if she did, not with Ruby, certainly- but it escalated incredibly thought it was absolute nonsense. Surely nobody would write this kind of story about her, right? What kind of sick, disgusting- "W-what?! That c-can't be….." She stood up, blushing horribly, staring at the screen with a mixture of embarrassment and….was it desire ?"** _

"Welcome to the DustNet, me! Ninety percent of everything is a shitload of Fuck! And I do NOT have a desire to bang Ruby silly!? Who the hell did you think I am?!"

**"**_**She shook the feeling out of her mind."No, Schnee, you don't think like that, even if you DID like her, she's too young for you, and she's too much of an idiot-" Weiss muttered to herself as she slowly shut off the computer and sat on her bunk. This was too much for her to simply let go. No…whoever wrote it needed punishment. Cold, hard, excruciating knew exactly who was at fault here.**_

"...The pervert who written this fic! In fact, i'm going to h4x him right na0w!" Weiss then gets to demonstrating her lulzly lvl of 1337 h4xor 5k1ll5 by 360 noscoping Elf's mainfraim daimframe and then proceed to run into a firewall. B4 she can Leroy it, she was faced with a Windows Notification saying "JUST WHO THE HELL DID YOU THINK I AM". Her computer then promptly goes Michael Bay on her and Esk-Plowded in her face.

~ Minutes later ~

She returned with a laptop in hand, saying in a slow and completely deadpan manner "...proceed."

_**- LINE-**_

_**"Yang leaned on a tree, enjoying a well-earned snack from the canteen. She was proud of herself; she'd managed, for once, to make herself sit through yet another boring history lecture and now wouldn't have to do it for the rest of the week, as most of the staff were off doing some mission or other. Life would be good for now."YAAAANNNNGGG!" Or not. The brawler whirled around to see a very irritated Weiss, huffing. "Oh, hey. What's eati-" "You know EXACTLY what's 'eating ' me, Xiao Long!" The white-haired girl poked Yang in the stomach."**_

" Wow. React!Me is really jumpy, isn't she? I mean, did she REALLY thinks that Yang is smart enough to actually write something like that?!...Our Yang isn't, at least... maybe..." This has never came to Weiss mind before. Yang is actually pretty good at literature. In fact, she wrote a fanfic depicting Fang, Lightning and Hope in a fanfic where the rest of the Final Fantasy XIII cast got their...you knows stolen, and the trio must defeat the Buttless, the wussified incarnation of their you knows, to save the FFVerse. And it's actually pretty awesome."Huh..."

"So after that lil' chitchat, React!Me then go on to find whoever write the fanfic, in a really Slice of Life way, thus setting the tone for the rest of the fanfic. Because of that, it's hard for me to find more chapter to continue the riffview with. There's little to no main plot, other than the occasional arcs and such, but by heart, it is a Slice of Life fic, and a really lighthearted one as well. This is the perfect counteract to the numerous dark fics and crap fics which plagued the series. Heck, it even pull off some of the most badass robot fighting AND people fighting scenes in as well! How cool is that? It also have chapters dedicated to what would be considered a deconstruction of common tropes in writing, and even some subversions as well. A Mary Sue character who is super powerful and is destined to be with a main character? Totally rejected, but still going on about in his delusional rambles and in the end, getting curbstomped by the mains. A high school self-insert with an awesome weapon rip straight out of something? don't know how to use it, don't have the strength to carries it. ElfCollaborator has an Author's Pet? Everybody loves the little bugger!. Weiss React have all of that and more."

**_"After many words were had with the rest of the team, Ruby agreed to never say that again, Yang agreed to never tease Weiss, after much prodding, and Weiss eventually forgot the whole , however, seemed to be giving Weiss strange looks now and again, but the heiress never paid them attention."_**

"wait, she did?!" Weiss glanced over to Ruby, which was curpstomping Yang in a training match with the theme "Steel Beowulf" blasting from... somewhere, and Yang could be heard screaming "HEELPPPP!" over Ruby's occasional comments like "Stop me... If you can!", or "No one's faster dashing in than me!". "Nope. Still fine." Weiss said, completely ignoring the obvious Super Robot Wars refference.

**_"Meanwhile…._**

**_In a small alcove in the library, Ren looked up from his viewscreen, having uploaded the next chapter in "White Rose: True Love". The gunfighter smirked to himself, a rare show of emotion. He sighed to himself, looking around to make sure that Weiss wasn't around. "She'll never know." Nora popped her head in, smiling and cheery as ever. Ren immediately shut off his viewscreen. "Yes, Nora?" "Oh, hey! Yang wanted to talk to you about something. Some story or other." "Oh?" Inside, the boy smirked mischievously._**

**_END"_**

"REN!? Youuuu... ARGHHHHHHHHH! I'ma gonna hit you with a goddamn Howling Rifle when this is over!" She exclaimed angrily, playing "Silver Fallen Angel" on her phone after finishing.

"That's Weiss React, folks. It's a lovely parody of everything Anime, which sometimes WILL push some people's button. The characters are handled very well, as they did not fade when other characters are introduced in. The writing is the stuff of legend, with a high-speed, at least for this fic's bumbling writer, updating schedule, which keeps the readers engaged constantly. But there's also the overusage of the word "antic" and the fact that most of this features me raging about stuff, which would gets old after a while if Elf didn't put in other chapters that's NOT about me raging. It's not for everyone, but if you want some lighthearted fun and hijinks, this fic is for you. I'm the Weisstalgia Critic, I shamefully remember them so you don't have to" She then walks off the screen, and then started screaming something about "slave driver", "Love Love Attack" and "our Joker card" with Ren screaming in the background.

END.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I personally LOVED Weiss Reacts, and what's in this episode is mostly confined in Vol.1 . Leave your suggestion in the review section, and i'll see you guys later. Bye Bye**

**Okay my top-heavy heavily armed Fubuki that is so expy-ish of Alteisen.**

**Fubuki: Chargin' through!**


	2. Chapter 2: Eternal Man! RememberMonty!

**A/N: Hello, i'm the Otaku Critic, and i remember him...**

**...and probably all of us who know him would too. I'm talking about Monty Oum, the literal second-coming of Bruce Lee but with epic animation skills AND martial arts skill and the creator of RWBY...**

**...has passed away in the first of February. Many of us were shocked by this, and so was i... **

Weiss: *hic* *hic*...Monty...*Sniff* *hic* *hic*

**I know, Weiss. It was a great loss to us all. When Michael Baysplosion and Whogivesafuck still gets to live, our wonderful Bruce Lee fanboy workaholic hit the dirt before the shitfuckers...**

Weiss: *hic*...Ironic that he died the same way Lee died...

**So, in order to honor him, we would start something...**

**...super...**

Weiss: SUPAAAAHHH ROBOTTO WAHZU! G! HEAVEN SHATTERING HANDS TO RECLAIM MO-

***TROMBE!***

**I'm talking about something that would make him proud. Anytime you see a fanfic about his works that was GOOD, give it the most honest truthful review you can write, and leave a hastag in it. I don't care if it doesn't make any sense, JUST DO IT! #RememberMonty ALL THE WAY BEYOND THE HEAVENS!**

Weiss: Next time, i would riffview a fanfic that was worthy of his name, so we can all appreciate all he has done for us. Because we are...

THE ROOSTER NUMBERS!

**THE ROOSTER NUMBERS!**

**SOUND THE GONG!**


End file.
